Marriage, from a biblical perspective, is a covenant relationship between the husband, the wife and God. From a secular perspective however, it is a legal contract between the husband, the wife and the state. Since we are followers of Christ, our main objective is to do things that are pleasing to God and to walk in the way He has ordained for us to walk; upright, holy, and pleasing to Him.
As we go through our lives, we see examples of what marriage is and based on what we see or think, we accept marriage as such. Some of these examples may be biblically based marriages. Others, however, may be based on modern cultural expectations and not based on godliness and love.
As we go through our lives, we see examples of what marriage is and based on what we see or think, we accept marriage as such. Some of these examples may be biblically based marriages. Others, however, may be based on modern cultural expectations and not based on godliness and love.
What was God's Original Purpose for Marriage?
Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 1:28 And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
Can we use His original concept for marriage, understanding why it is what it is, and grow?
Colossians 3:18-19
King James Version (KJV)
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.
The Original Concept for Marriage, in Modern Times
Matthew 19:5-6
King James Version (KJV)
And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
In these days and times, people get married for all sorts of reasons. Some may get married for financial gain, to move from their parents home, for citizenship purposes, security, emotions, because everyone else is doing it, etc.
The reasons may vary for wanting to get married BUT the original ideals of marriage (God's original purpose and plan) have never changed.
Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. The role of Eve (the first wife) was to help her husband. After the helpmeet was created, we see originally that man was to:
In order for Adam to be able to fulfill these duties, he needed the help of a woman. God established marriages as well as the roles each partner is to fulfill in that marriage.
The reasons may vary for wanting to get married BUT the original ideals of marriage (God's original purpose and plan) have never changed.
Genesis 2:18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. The role of Eve (the first wife) was to help her husband. After the helpmeet was created, we see originally that man was to:
- be fruitful,
- multiply,
- replenish the earth,
- subdue the earth,
- have dominion over the fish of the sea,
- have dominion over the fowls of the air, and
- have dominion over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.
In order for Adam to be able to fulfill these duties, he needed the help of a woman. God established marriages as well as the roles each partner is to fulfill in that marriage.
Ephesians 5:24-27
King James Version (KJV)
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
Modern day women can still follow the purpose and plan God originally established for us, in marriage. We can still be help meets to our husbands. We can still fulfill the roles of teaching our children to observe the laws of God and to walk in His ways. We can still be there for our husbands, when the world is against them. We need to learn, though, to not get our mindsets and opinions from ungodly sources.
Titus 2:3-5
King James Version (KJV)
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Ungodly people, mindsets and advice will lead to more ungodliness. It will also lead to more distortions in what is right in God's eyes. Proverbs 16:25 says, "There is a way that seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof are the ways of death".
What may seem right in modern society and to the peoples within that society may emphatically be totally against what God's Word says.
Society says, live together before you get married to test out the waters. God's Word says to be pure.
Society says if your spouse no longer serves your selfish needs, wants and desires, get a divorce. and find a new spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend. God's Word says, "Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10King James Version (KJV) Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God".
What may seem right in modern society and to the peoples within that society may emphatically be totally against what God's Word says.
Society says, live together before you get married to test out the waters. God's Word says to be pure.
Society says if your spouse no longer serves your selfish needs, wants and desires, get a divorce. and find a new spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend. God's Word says, "Matthew 19:9 And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery" and 1 Corinthians 6:9-10King James Version (KJV) Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God".
Societies Standards for Marriage
- Don't get married until after you finish your education and are secure in your field.
- If your biological clock is ticking, get married.
- If you need more security in your finances get married.
- If you want to move from your parents home get married.
- If you are tired of working and want to stay home get married.
- If you are looking for someone to fulfill all of your selfish wants and desires, get married.
- If you need help cleaning up your credit, and increasing your credit score, get married.
- If you want to have sex on a regular bases, get married.
- If you want someone to rule over, manipulate, control and dictate, get married.
- If you want to have a big, fancy party, where you get to invite all your friends, family co-workers, etc where you are the center of attention, get married.
- If you want to move your relationship to the "next level", get married.
- If you think getting married will change your "partner", get married.
Most of the above listed reasons for getting married are based on superficial, selfish reasons. The fact is, most of the reasons listed didn't exist until modern times. If we take the time to look at scriptures and compare them to our modern day lives, we can see very distinct differences.
In biblical times, there were no movies, soap operas, televisions dramatizations, romance novels and other such things to distort our views. Do we ever see men in biblical times
- Take their wives out to dinner,
- Buy them 2, 3 or 4 karat diamonds to show their love and adoration,
- Buy them flowers, candies or cards,
- Buy them a brand new car every 2-4 years,
- Buy them a new fur coat for every day of the week,
- Put the children in private school,
- Buying new furniture every few years to keep up with the Jones',
- Wearing haute couture and other exclusive, expensive name brands for wife and children,
- Shower them with affection by buying tangible but perishable items,
- Take their wives to the movies, dancing and candlelight dinner,
- Buying their wives the biggest house on the street to impress their friends and family members,
- Take their wives everywhere they want to go,
- Sending their wives on expensive vacations to tropical locations and islands,
- Fulfilling every whim, desire, selfish inclination, or hearts desire.
What we actually see in scripture is the opposite. There were no cars in those days. People ate at home. There were no candy stores to buy big, expensive boxes of Godiva chocolate. Hallmark did not exist.
None of these "modern" conveniences had a role in the lives of those people, thus it did not impact their marriage. So why do we allow these superficial, trivial, matters destroy our lives, happiness, families and marriages?
What did these people do in their marriages that have been forgotten in our modern societies? What can we learn from the bible's expectations of man and woman from marriage? What can we do when our marriage is not going our way?
Philippians 4:11-13
King James Version (KJV)
11 Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.
13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.